“Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.”
1 Peter 5:7
Your life is not a performance. You are not being evaluated. You don’t have to impress God. I tried it. A lot. And when the old gay feelings and desires used to hit me, I felt somewhere between lousy and bad news, with a mix of disastrous. That wasn’t from God and that certainly didn’t make God happy. Why would the One who loves me the most be happy when I am down?
You remember when, as a kid, you thought you did something terrible but it turned out that it was nothing to be worried about and you found yourself still loved and forgiven? It is the same with God – our Father. The only difference is that He didn’t have to find it out from a teacher or a neighbor.
Rest in God. Lie down on your pillow and let the tears or laughter come out. It is ok. Tell Him everything! He delights spending the time with you.
“Of His own will beget He us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of His creatures.”
Loving you is His will.