Hope Became Reality
March on to your freedom! Nothing and no one can stop you!
I welcome you to post your questions and comments here.
Thank you for sharing your awesome testimony and using it to help others to turn to Jesus! I saw you comment on a youtube video for a song I like and decided to check out your website, as I was intrigued and blessed by the message you were sharing. First of all Glory to God for healing, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I am a girl in my early 20s and I’ve had an interesting struggle with homosexuality. I know this site is more geared and directed more toward men struggling with homosexual feelings, but a car is a car no matter what make and model… therefore I could still get something out of your message haha I apologize for the length of this comment, but I felt like I should share my story as well.
I have never, ever been romantically attracted to other women. I’ve never wanted to date or be with another girl for marriage or a relationship. HOWEVER, once puberty hit, the thought of sexually being with another girl with “no strings attached” was very exciting to me. For a while I tried to call myself “heteroflexable bisexual” which is a worldly way of saying you want “straight” relationships but desire to have sex with men or women. The funny thing is, I was more sexually interested in other women than men. BUT I have never physically compromised myself sexually with someone else… I only watched porn on my own. The only porn I ever watched was lesbian or solo women.
I was raised Pentecostal and got saved as a teenager. I tried my best to do away with these sinful lusty things and get my mind and life right.. of course the struggle still remained. It never became a burning issue for me, but it was always a nagging annoyance. Through prayer and research, I eventually realized that the reason that I had what was essentially a “lesbian fetish” was partly because of the thrill in partaking in something forbidden. Knowing that it is a “no no” made me excited and it felt like, when watching this stuff, I became someone else and got to participate in the fun…then go back to my regular life when the porn was over. I’m a person who loves escapism and fantasy, so naturally being able to enter into a temporary and secret sexual fantasy appealed to me greatly. The thing is, it was neither temporary nor secret, as those spirits I invited into my body and life lingered and God knew what I was doing before I even thought to do it. The other reason that I realized I had this sexual attraction to women, was that from my first crush in 1st grade to my last school-based crush in 11th grade, I had never had a boyfriend or even a mutual crush, despite having liked probably 10-15 different guys over all that time. Boys would constantly reject me and, while I didnt feel unloved and I still had self esteem on the inside first layer, I BELIEVE deep inside, psychologically, it messed me up. It made me feel like no man would be interested in me, so I began to seek thrill in other women, because all my friends were girls. I have two older sisters and a mom who I’m close to. This massive collection of females to lean on made me feel like women are more reliable than men in my life, and I think that had a lot of influence once my sexual awakening hit. Anyway… Thank God that I am healing from that now. I still get the occasional feeling when I am ‘in the mood’ but I have been able to bypass and overcome the temptation more and more. I hold on to scriptures like James 1:12-16 and 1 Cor 10:13 which have helped me be stronger along with prayer and study of course. That’s why I know homosexuality isn’t in God’s plan for us. It’s lust-based and an attempt to fill a void. It’s the spirit of Baphomet: sneaky, vindictive, angry, yet patient, crafty, and festering. That spirit latches itself onto people (children especially–sometimes pre-puberty) and integrates itself with the person, making them feel like it was “always there” and that they were “born that way”. It shows up in small ways first, then slowly makes it self more and more manifest until the person is consumed, thinking that it IS them…but I don’t really have to explain that to you heh. In any case, once again, sorry for the length, and thank you so much for sharing your testimony to help others overcome! You are certainly doing the Lord’s work ^_^
Oops. That should be 1 Corinthians 10:13.
Hi Pepper and thanks for the “lengthy”reply- what can you do, some things do need a longer explanation and I understand and agree with everything you wrote! As far as I am concerned, feel free to write even more, any time you want to. You are right when you say that car is a car- you and I share many things in our experiences. First, I too had strong desire to be with a guy sexually with no strings attached- I really didn’t care about them as persons in terms of what may be important to them and could rarely see myself as being “married” or in a long gay relationship. Lust was number one priority, and still is, when I fall into the pattern of old thinking. Second, for me the whole thing was also like a fetish that has a few fetishes inside the main one (let’s not count them, LOL). Third, I also learned the hard way that homosexuality is a serious, devastating thing and not to be fooled with- the worst offense that a person can do against himself/herself is to go against your conscience and what one knows is bad for him/her. The deceptive spirit takes over and then God help us, right? Fourth, the environment definitely shapes us and your experience of life surely “helped” you to become a lesbian. It’s good that you never had anything physical with a woman, although the difference between doing it in a mind or in a body with another person is not important, as you yourself saw from your own struggle. But it’s better that you have one kind of experience less to get rid of.
Let us thank Jesus for His Love and Mercy – He gave us a chance for a new life and I cannot even want to begin to imagine how we would be without Him and this Hope that is in Him.
I am blessed to know that you found use of my story on this website and all can say is: Keep going and never let go of Jesus!
Hello, and thank you for sharing about your life and struggles. They really resonate with me.
I am at the point in my journey that I recently became a Christian in January of 2016. I thought I was “saved” at the age of 5, but I didn’t have a clue what happened or what true salvation really was. I therefore have come to dislike the term “saved”, because I have the sneaking suspicion that there are a whole lot of people out there who think they are “saved”, yet have been deceived by Satan, just like I was.
Sinisa, lease send me an email if you are so inclined to do so.
Hi Johnny! Thank you for your comment, I am blessed to know that you can see that we are the same people, going through same struggles, at some points of our lives. And for all of us there is ONE answer: Jesus.
God bless you!
What an awesome testimony Glory to God. I want to ask you I’m an On air personality in a Hispanic Christian Station in Charlotte NC WDYT 1220 and I have a program called The hour of the Testimony that God gave me to share the salvation testimonies and how God can turn any life around. I was looking for a testimony like you do all things that the malicious spirit, media, and all world stuff wants to impose and pervert everyone. Would you be interested in give yours in a bilingual program? Please if you are interested call me 704 712 2409
Blessings of God be upon you. I was wondering if you have ever heard of Joseph Sciambra? He lived a radically gay lifestyle unto the very brink of death until Christ intervened and saved him. He remains unattracted to women, yet lives a chaste life. I ask because you and Joseph seem to be walking a similar paths, both of you having a ministry dedicated to helping those who suffer from same-sex attraction by leading them to Jesus. Joseph wrote a book, Swallowed by Satan, which recounts his descent into darkness and subsequent redemption. Although I’ve never struggled with same-sex attraction myself, his book nevertheless helped free me from my slavery to lust. I just thought, since you and Joseph both share the same mission, you may be interested in touching base with him. He keeps a very insightful blog about homosexuality (which I still read) at josephsciambra.com.
God bless you and thank you for the great work that you do!
No, I haven’t heard of Joseph, thank you for that information. There are more and more of us who got healed of homosexuality and who received the new life: the life of love, freedom and peace!
It is excellent that you got set free from lust- that is one of the main issues today, with so many people being enslaved to porn and other sexual behaviours that kill the normal, original sexuality. God blessed you, for sure!!
This also shows how God works in always original ways – that you, not even being gay, found a strength and knowledge in a book of a former homosexual. Great!
Stay strong and may God keep blessing you!
I wanted you to know that I think its awesome that you are working hard to guide others to know that they can turn from their life and come to God : 3 Many of us deal with this issue, and many of us know Hes calling us, but are trapped in this lifestyle. I am thankful to God that He calls others of His flock to help these people. Many will refuse Him and continue in their lifestyle, but there are a few who will answer His call, and I am thankful for people like you who want to help guide them to Him.
Hi Moogi! Thank you very much! Yes, the issue is big and many young people are in it, because of not understanding what is going on and with nobody around to reach out for help. The number of young gays who definitely do NOT want to be gay for the rest of their lives is overwhelming, yet not surprising – homosexual propaganda wiggled into schools and other places where kids get educated, and they managed, temporarily, to infuse their gay messages and perverse ways into the system. But as it always was, God has His ways and His people around to make sure that EVERYONE who wants the changed life, gets cleaned up from the garbage instilled in them and also gets help and guidance.
I am amazed and thankful to God for your testimony about your previous transgender lifestyle (anyone reading this can go to my video “To my haters-ex gay haters” and read his full testimony in the comments section!! Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXBXO4c_BIk )
God bless you and stay strong! And if you get weak, God and His Word will still be strong for you and with you.
Thank you! You’ve got guts, or in Jewish terms ‘chutzpah’. I am now in the winter of life at age 69. If only I could get the point across to younger people; JUST DON’T GO THERE. Those in the homosexual agenda would have us believe that we’re born that way. No proper scientific proof of that. There may be a genetic predisposition to sexual deviation, much as there is with alcoholism. Thank God we don’t see parades of alcoholics marching with signs “Drunk and Proud”. Like you, a situation was presented at a very young age, a temptation to experiment sexually. I got stuck there and began to believe the big lie, that what happened was my destiny, my lot in life. There were few ways to maneuver through the years openly as a ‘gay’ man. That meant hiding and double standards. I was drawn to join what was then called Gay Liberation Front. The words were significant because 1) it wasn’t liberating and 2) it truly was a front, a false face forward. I toyed with the agenda in the days of legal battles for rights to congregate, to demonstrate and to parade gayly down the boulevard. Enough of all this, there are times when a testimony gives more credibility to the problem than the answer. The answer has a name = Jesus. The truth, the absolute truth is Jesus! I do not live a day without having to choose, to be certain that I purposely walk out of my tomb, out and away from the saddest lifestyle imaginable. Not always easy, but my trials cannot compare to His. I came to know my Redeemer through a home group of Christians because God knew I wouldn’t fit well in a church environment. These people were ‘covert’ in their evangelism. They were intensely loving and joyful, which drew me closer and closer, and finally prompted me to inquire what they were all about, where they got all this over the top happiness, something I’d never experienced before. That was 1975 and it’s been over 40 years now. I can celebrate a rebirthday each year, to mark when I chose God because He first chose me. If there are mistakes made by church-going folk regarding homosexuality, it may be that they display hate and anger toward the person rather than the problem. It isn’t difficult at all to separate the person from the problem and reach down to a level that heals rather than convicts. As we know, Jesus came to set the prisoners free.
Thank you for the opportunity to share with you. May God strengthen you for this battle, place around you a hedge of protection.
Hi Rodney! Thank you for YOUR truthful testimony. You mentioned quite a few very important points. First, it was LOVE and JOY that drew you to Christ, through Christians. It is very important to a struggling gay reading this, to see clearly that there is NO Love and Joy in homosexuality; otherwise it wouldn’t be struggling, especially for such a long time. Second, the fake face of homosexuality is all it has (“it” meaning homosexuality as the hell’s illusion). It comes onto a person because there is a missing truth in a young person’s life. The absence of truth and love make a person fake. Then homosexuality imposes fake love and fake care, and it results in fake action with ever deepening fake life and individuality. And yes, it is a front, aggressively and mercilessly marching until the person is destroyed and lost forever in the varying shades of lust, guilt, slavery to gay actions and so on. The same way it works inside the person, it also works out there, on the streets, trying to smash any opposition like a cold blooded killer.
You, me and many others eventually recognized homosexuality’s true nature, not by being forced into anything, but by seeing that there IS love and joy in this world and that drew us to Christ. Once sitting at Christ’s feet, we knew that homosexuality is the opposite of life: death. And we chose life.
Be blessed! Your years of wisdom make you a humble and knowledgeable man who CAN save souls from hell! Because you know.
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